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Mr Lucian

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[artpost lxxvi] [Jul. 3rd, 2012|04:27 pm]
Oh my god guys I am so sorry. I promised you a second artpost in June and then didn't deliver and now I'm paying for my sins by having lumbered myself with an artpost so massive that the mere thought of typing it up on this Swedish keyboard that keeps ambushing me with weird things like this å and this Ö when all I want is a fucking apostrophe is enough to make me cry.

So yeah. Here's this artpost, then - twenty images, mostly not in colour, but a few that are, and an awful lot of tattoo designs. Well, two and a half. No! Three! And a half. So, lots.

I AM CONCENTRATING. [+20, SFW] )

ALL FINISHED. Please leave a contribution in the little box. (gracias señorita!)
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[artpost lxxv] [Jun. 5th, 2012|06:13 pm]
HEY.

So! Expo was lovely, new friends found and many things sold. Fantastic! And, as such, there's a few of the things I was paid to draw for others here, which is cool and all, but I forgot to get photos of two of them. You don't get those. ALAS.

No porn for once WAIT NO there is porn under here, but it's only porn for me, so never mind.

A WHOLE LOAD OF MONSTERS and also blood. [+13, SFW] )

IN OTHER NEWS, I've updated my shop with new prints and a sticker! GO FORTH AND SHOP. Fund my desire for SHOES and PENS!
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[artpost lxxiv] [May. 22nd, 2012|10:19 pm]
Oh, you wish you were me. It's MCM Expo and my birthday and Eurovision final next weekend and I literally couldn't be more excited. I pre-emptively celebrated last night, therefore, by running around like a blue-arsed fly trying to find a box of stock that I'd imagined into existence when it didn't really and never did. That's how cool I am.

Anyway, here's THE ONLY ARTPOST HOLY SHIT for this month, and I apologise for that, but I've... been busy. It's a good one, though, and well worth the wait - I promise. Even I'm happy with this one!

SO MANY HUGE WARNINGS for both nudity AND the worst porn in the world :D [+10, NSFW] )
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[artpost lxxiii] [Apr. 29th, 2012|06:28 pm]
Oh wow, haha, I've basically done no art whatsoever for the past month. I don't know why. I assume it's because I suck? I've made things other than 2D stuff, though. Check it out. I'd have taken photos of my odious jacket that I'm making, but that's not finished, and yes yes I KNOW I owe you photos of my most recent mask, but I need help from my photographer friend for that :)

So! On with this pathetic excuse for an artpost.

Some, and some nudity. [+7, NSFW] )

THAT IS ALL OF TODAY'S BORING ARTPOST, EVERYONE GO HOME
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[artpost lxxii] [Apr. 15th, 2012|12:24 pm]
I really haven't been drawing much lately. In my defence, it's because I've passionately believed that everything I produce is rubbish and no-one cares, and also that I've been playing with broken glass. Because the only reason people don't wear rings made out of broken glass is because they've not thought of it, obviously, and not because it's an inherently stupid idea :D

Also, I've discovered that if I go out and play with my friends rather than sit at home and weep over my own shitty scrawlings and the hopelessness of my dreams, then I'm much happier!

lol

So anyway, here's a load of drawings. They're pretty big this week, so be thou warned.

None of it is porn because apparently I have to be happy to produce porn? Oh: TW FOR ARACHNOPHOBES, THERE'S A BIG-ASS SPIDER IN HERE. [+9, SFW] )

THE END. Now let us never speak of this again.
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[artpost lxxi] [Mar. 30th, 2012|12:06 pm]
I have been fighting down some particularly pernicious Brain ProblemsTM this month. It's not been great. So I hate everything in this artpost and am only grudgingly sharing it because otherwise everyone will forget who I am and that I do art at all, but is that really such a terrible thing really.

Also I've been making things out of resin but whatever UGH STOP TALKING LUCIAN

Some stuff. Beware, some of it is FUCKING HUGE. [+9, sfw] )

CEASE
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[artpost lxx] [Mar. 8th, 2012|09:00 pm]
Blimey, are we really at 70 artposts? What should I do when I hit 100? Cry that I've posted this much art into the uncaring internet void? Have a party? I don't know!

Anyway, a lot of this is crap.

Plus, it's all SFW and whatever, so. [SFW, +12] )

LOVE ME.
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[artpost lxix] [Feb. 28th, 2012|10:50 am]
HAPPY... the end of February. I don't know. I'm hammering this one out as fast as I can before I literally die of tiredness. Is that okay? That's okay, isn't it? I'd have done it this morning, but I was organising my spice racks. Seriously, that took me about two hours. Seriously! Two hours.

Nothing much NSFW in this, but you DO get AWESOME photographs of the mask I just finished, Babylon, by my mate Jon. Check them out! BABYLONNNNN. I'll do more writing/drawing/whatever about it later, but RIGHT NOW, it's time for... ART.

COLOURS AND MASKS AND PIXIES OH MY [+17, SFW] )

That is all the things I have. Please, look at all the things and tell me that you love me. I am small and insecure and want to be loved.

Alternatively, dash my dreams against the cold hard rocks of reality and tell me I'm scum.

I'm good with either.

(If you go for option b, please wear a cassock)
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[artpost lxviii] [Feb. 14th, 2012|09:32 am]
FEBRUARY. It's VALENTINE'S DAY. I HATE Valentine's Day, for all the reasons that get people in snuggly relationships going, "Ughhh, bah humbug you, so cynical, why can't you just let people have fun, and anyway, you're in a relationship so why aren't you," etc. etc. etc. and to those people say I, oh shut the fuck up. This isn't about you. This is about how our culture SUCKS when it comes to portraying relationships. The way our culture fetishises sexual relationships over equally intense non-sexual relationships is fucked up. The way our culture simultaneously idolises and demonises sex is fucked up. The way this culture literally makes people feel like they have failed if they're not in a sexual relationship is fucked up. Valentine's Day is one big-ass day where all that fucked-up-ness is cast in my face so's I can't ignore it.

I work in a sexual health clinic. The day after Valentine's Day is the busiest in our calendar, because no-one shags with a condom on Valentine's Day, apparently. Morning-after pills everywhere, people calling up, thinking they've contracted literally everything...

Valentine's Day can fuck off, as far as I'm concerned.

And that's why, for Valentine's Day, I've drawn two things. One is inter-racial, inter-species, condom-visible queer porn and the other is a card to tell your loved one that you just don't love them as much as you love the Fae.

Needless to say, BRING ON THE NSFW. [+10, NSFW] )

I think that's everything. I'm going to have a shower, and you, dear internet, are going to say words in the word-box down there.
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[artpost lxvii] [Jan. 24th, 2012|09:58 am]
WELCOME TO 2012.

Let me tell you a story.

Back in 2010, I had a realise. That realise was that people prefer short, snappy artposts because there's less stuff to wade through, and that it's vastly easier for me to produce two, maybe three, artposts a month of about seven images each than one of about a thousand.

So here I am, bringing you my first and only artpost of January 2012, on the 24th of January, with LITERALLY LIKE A THOUSAND DRAWINGS. HAVE I LEARNT JACK SHIT? HAVE I - look. Just go under the cut and you'll see. It's tragic.

Oh, and there is literally no way this one is SFW at all, ever. SO MUCH PENIS. [+28, NSFW] )

THANK YOU AND WELL DONE! if you've gotten this far! You're amazing. Thank you. As a reward, check out my PRINT SALE that I'm having over at my shop. Many things are sold out, unfortunately, but the vultures came thick and fast, and who am I to turn away vultures when they're my favourite birds and they're really cute and I want to snuggle them all with my face.
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[artpost lxvi] [Dec. 30th, 2011|03:33 pm]
The last artpost of 2011, this is! It's come on a good day. After this, I'm going out to get a suit (hopefully: buying a suit when you're as tiny as I am is a nightmare) because I've got an interview at a place on Thursday. Scary! But good. Gooooood.

Also included in this artpost is a retrospective of the entire ADVENT MONSTERS project I did this December, some of which are soon to be available as festive greeting cards in my shop in time for ordering for next year. Or, you know, just as pretty things. There'll be a non-festive pack, too, in case you want to horrify and disgust your friends and enemies with LucianArt cards at any time of the year.

Bright colours, sketches and external links to all the advent monsters. [+8, SFW] )

COMMENTS, HO.
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[artpost lxv] [Dec. 19th, 2011|09:47 pm]
Oh my god, guys. Welcome to the December artpost! I was planning to do another one (the Flickr set is called "December 2011 artpost i") but it's getting late in the month and I'm... not sure. Unless, of course, I do an entire artpost of the set of ADVENT MONSTERS.

If you've not been following my advent monsters, there is literally something wrong with you, like you're not obsessively following all of my online movements or something.

I've been uploading a new monster to MY PORTFOLIO every day for the past 19 days, and if that's not impressive, then what is? what is. Go and check them out! There's a new one at mid-day every day, except for days when I've forgotten to schedule anything. It'll run until Christmas and not Solstice as I'd originally planned, because I'm finding it fun :)

Anyway, I'm not putting any advent monsters in this artpost because you can see the preceding ones by navigating backwards through my portfolio, and I'll be posting them all together on here when the whole calendar's finished. Good? Good.

So, for want of a better way to spend my evening (I could always sleep, I suppose, but there's various personal factors impinging my ability to sleep at the moment) I'm going to write an artpost and then obnoxiously pimp the hell out of it for the rest of the week. Yes.

I don't think there's any- wait. There's kink in here and a skinless horse, but no sex. Sorry! [+12, SFW] )

So there's that! Happy Solstice, be dreadful, and see you after the festivities! Leave your love, etc. The comments accept anon, by the way. Juuuuust saying. (COME AT ME, BRO) AND REMEMBER TO CHECK OUT THE BLOODY ADVENT MONSTERS. Good invisible audience. Verrrry gooooood.
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[artpost lxiv] [Nov. 22nd, 2011|09:55 am]
OH MY GOD GUYS I AM SO SORRY. I intended on artposting right after I got back from MCM, but actually what happened was NaNoWriMo, and then I didn't do anything other than write for a million years.

I'm supposed to be writing right now. Do artposts go towards wordcount? A picture is worth a thousand, surely. That's... how it works, right?

Anyway, the content of actual drawn art in this is quite low. This is because I have MADE many things, and ALSO: this artpost contains PHOTOGRAPHS of the time I met Philip Shahbaz (the voice of Altaiir from My Favourite Game EverTM) and how I wept on him.

Very exciting.

Monsters, photographs and marshmallows! [+14, SFW!] )

PHEW, GOD. THAT'S QUITE ENOUGH OF THAT. BACK TO THE WRITING, THEN.
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[artpost lxiii] [Oct. 27th, 2011|12:23 pm]
THE LONDON MCM EXPO STARTS TOMORROW, AND BY ERIS'S BLOODY TEETH, I SHALL BE THERE.

MY BODY

IS READY

But the critical question is: are you ready for my body? Let's hope so. I've made marshmallows.

Oh, shit, yeah, also there's this artpost here that you should look at. Also, did you read my latest review on BadRep?

WELL I CERTAINLY HOPE YOU REALLY FUCKING LIKE POKEMON [+12, NSFW?] )

*

LEAVE LOVE. I'M GOING TO PICK UP YET MORE FUCKING STICKERS LIKE A BOSS.
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[artpost lxii] [Oct. 7th, 2011|11:50 am]
HAPPY OCTOBER, EVERYONE :D October is the best month. Although it is very cold in my house, so I'm typing at about 40% accuracy and having to go back and correct all the errors. #firstworldproblems

This artpost is small. Can you ever forgive me? It does have porn in it, though. And Pokemon. There isn't porn of Pokemon, though this time

EVERYTHING HAS COLOUR OH MY GOD [+7, NSFW] )

*

OKAY THAT'S ALL I HAVE NOW BYE please leave comments
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[artpost lxi] [Sep. 29th, 2011|08:15 pm]
I'm making this artpost during a roleplaying session! You wish you were as cool as me.

I just got back from holidaying in the south of Spain, which was beautiful, so while there's some art here (obviously) there isn't masses and masses, because I spent all the time drawing.

Oh, and there's porn. Of course.

Lots of colours and some architecture! [+8, NSFW] )

*

Yeah, that's all I have today. Leave me comments, make me feel worthwhile.
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[artpost lx] [Sep. 16th, 2011|07:07 pm]
TINY HURRIED ARTPOST IS TINY AND HURRIED. You don't mind, though, do you? No? Good. After all, the last one was... only last week or something ridiculous. I'll have more at the end of the month. This might even be a three-artpost month! Isn't that exciting, boys and girls and not-binary people?

Shut up, Lupie, just show us the goddamn art. [+8, SFW] )

*

I HAVE ARTPOSTED. NOW I MUST REST.
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[artpost lix] [Sep. 9th, 2011|03:53 pm]
Oh my god, internet. Internet, oh my god. I have had the most shocking three weeks ever. I mean, like. Right. Okay, so the 16th was a day when my brain just broke! It just broke. Just comprehensively... broke. It didn't work any more. I then spent a week fixing it to bare-minimum-functioning level so that I wasn't just crying all the time or trying to eat my own arms, and then another week building on that so that I got out of bed and ate food, and then the week after going, "OH MY FUCKING GOD I'VE NOT DRAWN ANYTHING".

Which is why I've not drawn anything.

I have, however, made two pairs of costume horns, which I haven't taken successful pictures of, so you'll just have to wait until I have done before you can see them.

All the drawing, really, in this artpost, has been done in the past week! Crazy. I'm so sorry. I just comprehensively stopped functioning. I'm okay now. I have the best friends ever, the opportunity to do demonstrations at my local art shop, and a table at LONDON MCM EXPO.

So there's that.

And now, ARTPOST! Some non-explicit nudity. [+ 12, NSFW] )

*

Okay! We're done. Leave comments, love, declarations of war and marriage here. Thanks.
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[artpost lviii] [Aug. 21st, 2011|06:25 pm]
WHAT TIME IS IT

ARTPOST TIME, MOTHERFUCKERS

THAT IS WHAT TIME IT IS

Okay, no word of a lie, I've had a shitty week from - well, I won't say Hell because I reckon Hell has better things in store than this - but a really bad place. Jeffrey Dahmer's sketchbook bad. It was terrible. But! BUT. I've produced, er, this paltry offering and! AND.

AND AND AND.

LOOK AT THIS FUCKING SHOP

Buy things! Buy stuff! Help me afford Photoshop for my new-to-me Macbook! (By the way, if you happen to be a generous soul with a recent copy of Photoshop for Mac just hanging around needing a good and exceptionally grateful home, please consider flinging it this way... I can't see myself being able to conjure up £500+ in a hurry!) There aren't loads of things in there at the moment because I can't afford anything, ever to upgrade it yet - which will allow MORE THINGS! And, y'know, I want to prove that I can sell things from it before I spend any money on it. That's how it works.

So buy stuff. Buy a poster! Buy an assload of stickers! Please! :D

And don't forget to check this shit out, too, as usual [+8, SFW!] )

*

NOW YOU MAY DO COMMENTS LOL BYE
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[artpost lvii] [Aug. 14th, 2011|01:31 pm]
IT'S THAT TIME AGAIN. Yes! Time for another artpost. This one's got all sorts of cool stuff in it, plus more SHOP NEWS.

The shop news is that I'm still working on my bigcartel.com shop and it isn't done yet.

That's the whole of the shop news.

OKAY TIME FOR THE ARTPOST COME ON COME IN [+12, SFW] )

*

OKAY SO THAT'S EVERYTHING, leave me a billion comments about what a horrible person I am and tell me how much you're looking forward to SHOP TIME.
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